My attempt at Poetry

View previous topic View next topic Go down

My attempt at Poetry

Post by the8thark on Thu 19 Jun 2008, 12:50 am

I have written a few poems and would like to share one with you all. And it's not about anyone in particular before anyone asks. I just got the idea in my head so I wrote it down and the words just came from there.

**********************************

Black is the colour I see every day
The night as it engulfs the last rays of the sun
To leave us with nothing but our fears and our dreams
A time of reflection to see what has past
My feelings for you never wavered to another
A little secret I should have told you
At 5:30 in the morning
Cold and lonely basking in the dawn light
Just missing you

Black is the colour of the hair I see
Surrounding a wonderful face such as yours
Flowing and strong, with a life of it's own
Waiting to entice whoever is near
Don't seek out it's warmth, cause it's cold to the touch
Only by faith can you see what the blind always see
A smile that is pure from a face wet with tears
That hide years of heartbreak inside a beautiful soul

Black is the colour when I close my eyes
And dream of my life in a happier sense
A wonderful time spent in a fantasy land
Where good luck blesses everyone
Except for a little black duck known as me
Exiled from the land for being too sad
And not showing the true feelings
Of what makes me tick, and smile and laugh

Black is the colour I'd see no more
In an ideal world where fear did not reign
People could express their desires and dreams
Without torment and sadness of constant failure
So everyday as I see this colour surround me
I stop and think of how lucky I am
For I've never said how I truly feel
But someone will know without a word being said
Of how I really do like you

But someone will know without a word being said
Of how I really do like you
avatar
the8thark

Male
Number of posts : 14
Registration date : 2008-04-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by Angeo on Thu 19 Jun 2008, 2:19 am

That is so beautiful. the8thark. It's got to be about somebody and about real felt emotions. Thanks for sharing it.

It reminds me of a poem I wrote about someone and I mailed it to him with a sketch I drew of him. We'd had a beautiful poetry and letters romance as 16 year olds but I never let him kiss me. giggle The poem was kind of regretful and angst-full apology.

_________________
avatar
Angeo
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 653
Registration date : 2007-12-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by amanda-renee on Thu 19 Jun 2008, 4:33 pm

yeah another poet,
thanks jim that was lovely i enjoyed reading it. :)
avatar
amanda-renee
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 877
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-11-16

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by ambercat on Thu 19 Jun 2008, 11:17 pm

oh that's really beautiful Jim.... i love the part where the little black duck known as you is exiled from the wonderful fantasy land for being too sad... Sad I love it...thanks so much for letting us share it with you! I love you

_________________
avatar
ambercat
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 621
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-11-11

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/_ambercat_

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by the8thark on Fri 20 Jun 2008, 1:11 am

Thanks so much for all the comments. Muchly appreciated. They made my day, well thanks anyways.

And I have been writing for about 3 years now and have written about 230 poems and song lyrics. So I have an age of previous material to share if anyone's interested.

Anyways it's nice to read and share poetry.
avatar
the8thark

Male
Number of posts : 14
Registration date : 2008-04-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by ambercat on Sat 21 Jun 2008, 9:08 am

ooooh yes thanks!!! I'd love to read some more of your poetry Jim! And you write songs as well? Do you write the music too or only the lyrics? I'd love to be able to write poetry but I'm hopeless at it! Amanda here is brilliant at poetry as well... anyway, if you'd like to share some more, I'd love to hear it!! Very Happy

_________________
avatar
ambercat
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 621
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-11-11

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/_ambercat_

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by Kris on Sat 21 Jun 2008, 10:47 am

Me too. That was wonderful. Keep them coming Jim!

I tried to write a few little poems here and there whilst Carl was still on Idol but let's just say they weren't great! lol

_________________
avatar
Kris
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 528
Age : 33
Registration date : 2007-11-16

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/kristenh222

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by the8thark on Sun 22 Jun 2008, 11:28 pm

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the comments again.

To Kris: I bet your poetry was really good too.

To ambercat: Thanks. And yes I will share some more of my poetry later. And yes I have made a little music. Which I will share here. I have made 6 pieces (over a couple of years) with loops and things. They are not to any of my lyrics. Just separate musical ideas I had. And you can download each one from it's link. The word above the link is the name I gave each one.

Trial And Error
mediafire.com ?lnzirqym2xj

Long Lost Friends
mediafire.com download.php?z1cgj811jtn

Contrast
mediafire.com download.php?0jfypplkn1k

Telepathy
mediafire.com download.php?yox0sqdq4o1

Dreams
mediafire.com download.php?yegmxtzgt2i

Unappreciated
mediafire.com download.php?dx3vkczzs1z

**********************************

Well ok I'll share one more of my poems I have written.


Am I lost
Sitting here on the sidewalk
Watching the cars pass by
Waiting for life to pass by me
And maybe stop for a while
Just to say hello

And everyday I think about you
Even in the pouring rain
Washes my thoughts away
So I say goodbye to all that I hold dear
And listen to the cars that just
Pass me by to a destination
Far far away

For a dream is but a dream
And a car is not a car
Just a missed opportunity
To fly away with you
To be with you again
So I can feel home

Does the summertime drag on
Unnoticed by the world
And the cars don't slow down
As I wave at them
Sitting in the shade
On a windy afternoon
Just waiting to say hello

I wonder if you'll drive
Right past me one day
So momentarily I can fly away
When our eyes connect
To the place you want to be
At home without the fear
Of being stuck with me
So far far away

For a dream is but a dream
And a car is not a car
Just a missed opportunity
To fly away with you
To be with you again
So I can feel home

Can I fly away
Can I see your face
Can we be together
If for only a moment
As the wind and rain come down
I will wait and see
If you'll just drive by me
And then go far far away

For a dream is but a dream
And a car is not a car
Just a missed opportunity
To fly away with you
To be with you again
So I can feel home

So I can feel at home
With you I feel home
avatar
the8thark

Male
Number of posts : 14
Registration date : 2008-04-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by ambercat on Mon 23 Jun 2008, 10:24 pm

Oh they're really nice Jim!!! yup Can you read and write music as well? I tried to teach myself to read music but just gave up!! and I love your new poem here as well!!

_________________
avatar
ambercat
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 621
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-11-11

View user profile http://www.myspace.com/_ambercat_

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by the8thark on Mon 23 Jun 2008, 10:28 pm

Yes I can read and write music. Cause I used to play the clarinet quiet a bit. I don't do it anymore though, shame I know. But still from that I learnt how to read sheet music.

And btw thank you.
avatar
the8thark

Male
Number of posts : 14
Registration date : 2008-04-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by Angeo on Mon 23 Jun 2008, 11:10 pm

Yes. Superb 8th. Keep them coming.

_________________
avatar
Angeo
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 653
Registration date : 2007-12-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: My attempt at Poetry

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum